I Ditched My Bras - And Felt FREE!
Penny Newman. Photo: Supplied
Alone and half naked in a small room; I braced myself for what I knew was coming. I waited until the curtain was drawn back to be told some very devastating news: “I’m sorry,” she said in sympathetic tone, “There’s nothing we can do for you”.
Feeling humiliated, I got dressed and left the fitting room of one of Australia’s most popular bra stores – the kind that proudly advertises about catering to all shapes and sizes. Well, all sizes except mine. Even at age 39, my breasts were too small to fill even an A cup.
Still desperate to make a sale, the shop assistant suggested I buy a pair of stick-on nipple covers instead, to which I obliged. I was too embarrassed to leave empty handed. If I couldn’t fit into a bra, the least I could do was cover up my nipples in public – because, apparently, that’s what women are supposed to do.
On my drive home, still reeling from the rejection, I was contemplating getting a custom-made bra. I had no idea where to start, and knew it would be quite expensive, but I felt like it was the only way to conform to social norms. I was upset and angry at my body for not being “normal”. I just wanted to be like everyone else.
But as I began researching custom-made bras, I started to question: Who am I actually doing this for?
Ever since I was a teenager, I’d been improvising with bras that didn’t fit properly. I’d worn bra’s so tight that they cut into my ribs, simply to get a smaller cup size. I’d added extra padding to fill larger cups when I’ve gone the next size up. I’d convinced myself I needed to wear a bra to be feminine, even if it meant that I was uncomfortable.
Some health professionals say bras are beneficial for women with larger busts; but are they necessary for everyone, particularly for those with a smaller chest like me? With no practical benefit, bras don’t offer me much beyond hiding my nipples and sparing me from nipple shaming. I’d only been wearing them because I was worried about being judged if I didn’t.
I felt it was unfair that society expected women to cover up their nipples, even under their clothing. Why can men go topless in public without a second thought? Why do we treat something so natural as a source of shame for women only?
As I pondered this, I started to pay attention to influential women who are well known for defying these norms. Take English singer Lily Allen, for example, who’s walked red carpets in sheer dresses, with her nipples unapologetically visible. In her song “Hard Out Here” she calls out society’s double standards with lyrics like: “Inequality promises that it’s here to stay”.
Even Kim Kardashian caused quite a stir when she introduced her new SKIMS “Nipple Bra”, designed to give the illusion of erect nipples under clothing. I loved this idea! Why shouldn’t women embrace the fact we have nipples? We’re not Barbie dolls.
Flaunting nipples – even fake ones endorsed by a celebrity, feels like a step towards normalising what society deems taboo.Inspired by these women, I decided to make a bold move: I threw away my stick-on nipples covers, decided against getting a custom-made bra, and set my small breasts free!
But going braless was easier said than done. At first, I felt really exposed and a real sense of shame.
I was sure everyone was staring at me. I anticipated judgment, imagined whispers, and prepared myself for mean comments. But surprisingly, I didn’t experience anything negative from anyone. I was worrying for nothing.
Because here’s the thing: Nobody noticed. Nobody cared. The only person judging me was me.
This shock realisation sparked something inside me. I started to challenge my own thoughts and questioned why I was so hard on myself. Bit by bit, I worked on shifting my mindset and began my journey of self-love. Slowly my confidence shifted, and I learned to love my body the way it is, without feeling a need to apologize for it.
Now, I haven’t worn a bra in over a year, and I’ve never felt more liberated. My posture has improved and the mysterious back and shoulder pain I’d been experiencing for years has reduced significantly. I’ve learned how to dress in a way that enhances my natural body shape. Instead of wishing for a body I don’t have, I celebrate my body the way it is, uncovered.
That said, I know my journey is unique to my body type and being flat-chested.
Women with larger breasts might face entirely different challenges if they chose to go braless. Society’s over-sexualization of women’s bodies means that the bigger your bust, the more likely you would be to attract unwanted attention. And that’s heartbreaking.
Because this isn’t just about bras. It’s about freedom, - freedom to make choice about our bodies and the way we dress, without the fear of judgment. Whether you prefer to wear a bra or nothing at all, the decision should be entirely yours.
There’s still more work to be done when it comes to empowering women to make authentic choices about their own bodies - without the pressure to dress conservatively for the sake of social etiquette and gender status. But change starts within.
By working on our own self-love, confidence and body acceptance, we can start to challenge unfair gender stereotypes and expectations that are placed on women and reclaim our right to simply be.
Penny Newman is Co-founder and Editor of Lady News.